Captain Cartwheel

That is all.

During my extended couch time over the last week I caught a few commercials for a show called Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution.  I hadn't really thought much of it, other than recalling my school days of hot lunches - Italian Dunkers, Nachos, and big-ass chocolate chip cookies from the a la carte line.  Seriously loved the nachos, yummy cheese product.  Oh, and slushies, mmmmm.

Anyway, today I caught a recent Colbert Report with a clip from the show and decided to look it up.  I just finished watching the first two shows online; it was both appauling and intriguing.  Two things really struck me, kids could not identify common vegetables and the amount of processed foods consumed by the average family is nauseating to me.   Oh, and also, seriously, wtf are Potato Pearls?  Ok, maybe there were four things - the size of the some of the kids was shocking.  YIKES!

As someone who has been undergoing my own food revolution in trying to cook with fresh ingredients, avoiding heavily processed items and paying attention to portion sizes, I am repulsed by the representation of fat consumed in schools over a years time.  BARF!  If given the choice between pizza and chicken I would gladly take the chicken (although I would still probably choose the Italian Dunker over either option - mmmmm). 

Check it out, if nothing else you get to listen to a great accent and fun word choices for 43 minutes.  Bonus fact, the web site provides recipes for meals he prepares on the show.

I am now the owner of a sexy bionic foot.  My foot actually looks likes I mugged a Star Wars Storm Trooper, amputated his foot and stuck it on mine.  Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.  I went to TRIA today for follow-up and spent way longer than I anticipated.  I had more x-rays which came back inconclusive.  My pain is apparently indicative of a fracture, so the doc ordered an MRI.  The MRI showed damage to two ligaments in my foot, and no apparent fracture.  The doc says it's still possible I have a teeny, tiny, eensy, weensy fracture but it doesn't show up with imaging. 

It appears I will be impersonating a Storm Trooper for the next couple of weeks.  The good news is I am allowed to walk in the walking boot, the problem is it really freaking hurts to walk, afterall I haven't done that in awhile.  I'm combating the problem by crutch walking; but I hope to lose the crutches soon too. 

I have been quite impressed with TRIA, both in my visit today and another recent visit for my other foot.  If you find yourself in need of orthopedic care I recommend them highly. 

In other news, my first adventure out of my parents house in the last 6 days occured last night when my dad, brother, future sister-in-law and I went to see How to Train a Dragon.  It was great; it had heart, humor and action.  Good times.  I would definitely see it again. 

Oh, and my experiment has ended on day 30.  If I had only picked the month of February I would have succeeded.  I wasn't planning on the MRI or results happening today, but they fit me in so what was I supposed to do?  Wait to eat lunch until close to 4 p.m.?  Oh well.  One time in 30 days is probably OK right?  Grrrr.

I've officially made it to Day 25 of no restaurants and no take out food.  I must admit I have really enjoyed it overall.  I have made a few new recipes, made an effort to plan for meals and snacks and avoided rash spending on quick food/vending maching snacks/beverages.  I did go out bar hopping in NE two Saturdays ago but I bought no food, only alcohol.  I even avoided the drunken Taco Bell stop at 2 a.m. - granted that was mostly because I was busy puking out my DD's car window on 94 & Lyndale on the way home instead*  But that's neither here nor there.  The point being that I actually sat at a restaurant table with guests eating all around me and I didn't so much as steal (or accept) a french fry.  That, my friend(s), was amazing.

My other tests of strength included:

• passing up Chipotle (my brother was buying for the family);
• passing on the extra Chicken McNuggets my pregnant coworker was handing out at work;
• bringing a dinner to a work meeting where Papa John's pizza was served (this is HUGE for me b/c I love the garlic dipping sauce and often polish off 2-3 slices of 'za before retreating home with a tummy ache);
• not eating the leftover Papa John's pizza that was in the office refrigerater all week.

This month I have learned to make spinach & tofu lasanga, a pot roast with roasted potatoes, & a spinach & garbanzo bean dish (ok, my mom actually made this, but I sort of helped).  I have not once settled for a peanut butter sandwich or Ramen noodles.  I even did my dishes regularly - which felt really good. Only once did a eat a frozen pizza.

I have noticed a few things during this months experiment.  Only once did I feel gross, bloated or nauseated (excluding the NE bar crawl) from over-eating.  I found it easier to manage my portion sizes and I didn't feel guilty eating at all (except when perhaps I got a little over-zealous about the quart of Chocolate Fudge Brownie Edy's Ice Cream I bought for $3 at Target).  I rarely felt like I was adjusting my social life to avoid eating out, instead I had a few lovely pot lucks with friends.  Overall it has been a relatively lovely month. 

All that said, there has been at least one unintended consequence from this experiment.  Last night I dusted off my soccer cleats and stepped foot onto the recreational soccer field.  I felt such joy (and anticipated much soreness) from running/sprinting around the field with the Herk team I subbed for.  I won't recount the game for you, other than to say it was fun, the team is awesomely low key and supportive of each other and I scored at least 2 goals and set up a third.  Go me. 

After the game the team heads to the Herkimer, a local establishment that sponsors the team and gives discounts on food after games.  I bowed out because I didn't want to spoil my experiment with a cheeseburger and fries, afterall I would be playing with the team again and could go out next time; looking back I probably should have gone. 

On my way out I was approached by another team who needed at least 1 female to start the game, turns out their team was told the wrong time and consequently not there.  If they didn't find someone they would have to forfeit the championship.  Not one to pass on the opportunity to play when I'm in the mood, I took them up on the offer, what's a little more running around right?  The Herk team wished me luck and took off leaving me with two goals: 1. find out the status of the hotties on the team -and there were a few of them **and 2. d on't get hurt.  After the fact my brother, ever supportive, pointed out that if I had broken the challenge I would likely be in a comfortable standing position.

I bet you can see where this is going.  I played for 15 minutes or so, then spent 2 hours in the ER, and am now the less than proud owner of a pair of crutches and a very stylish wood shoe.  Nothing is broken.  I'm laid up on the couch currently with strict instructions not to put any weight on my right foot for at least 5 days.  If I can accomplish that I will likely make a faster recovery overall.  Not sure what time frame I'm looking at for a full recovery but I am hoping 4 weeks or less, doesn't that sound like a reasonable amount of time? 

Good thing I have a good number of books I want to get through and pots to create.

-Crutches McGee signing off.

*Thank you, Thork, for safely driving the group of us home & for not excommunicating me to puking out your car window (again). 
** I also failed at goal #1, perhaps I should have milked my injury for hot man sympathy. 

Yes, well...hmmm. 

The good: I can walk.

The bad: My calves have staged a revolt and are petitioning to be let out of their contractual obligation to my legs.

I was expecting my arse to hurt.  I would not have been surprised for my hamstrings and quads to hate me.  I was not prepared for the tightness and outright pain in my calves, especiallywearing my heels at work.  I'm sure my coworkers loved me wandering around the office in my bare feet on Friday, but in the heels I looked like I was impersonating a zombie.  I didn't want anyone to 'double tap' me (rule #2, I believe).

My cure: 1 hour of spin class & 1 hour of Latin Fusion dance. Other than nearly collapsing from a calf crap in the dance class, it did loosen up my legs a little.

The better cure: The better part of a bottle of wine, 2 jello shots and a glass of beer = limber-er.  Thank you family poker game! And I only lost a buck!

I rarely eat over my lunch hour.  We don't have a breakroom which leaves us all sitting alone in our respective offices, staring at the computer during lunch.  I find that to be rather lame.  I get antsy and I suck at sitting at my desk for 8 hours.  My solution is to workout instead - or sometimes I take whatever book I'm reading at the time and head outside on nice, warm days. 

I have become bored with using the dreadmill over the lunch hour and it has been rainy all week so my desire to run outside is lacking.  Weights are usually a good lunch time activity but I have been lacking in cardio lately.  So yesterday I got a grand idea: I would run the stairs! 

Our offices are on the 3rd floor of a nondescript office building in a western suburb.  I take the stairs every day anyway, sometimes multiple times a day, so how bad could running them be?  I'm relatively in shape, or at least I have a shape.  It can't be that bad right? It's not like I work in a downtown highrise of anything. 

My plan was to run one the stairs in one stairwell for 12.5 minutes and then switch to another stairwell for the remaining 12.5 minuntes.  I figured 25 minutes of cardio would be good plus core work, a quick shower and back at my desk within an hour.  I planned to switch stairwells because one forces you to turn right when ascending and the other to turn left.  By switching I would be making my legs work equally.*

Lunch time rolls around so I grab my stuff and get ready.  In the process I realized I had forgotten socks.  Being that there was no way in Hades I would run stairs without socks between my feet and my running shoes, I sported my sexy black knee-high socks and my orange shoes.  Hot.  Grabbed my MP3 player and headed to the stairwell. 

To warm up I walked the stairs at a normal pace for a few moments and then picked up the speed.  Initiate heavy breaking and the sound of a single elephant's feet pounding the cement.  I could not believe how quickly or how profusely I began sweating.  It was nasty; and thanks to my new shorter hair which can't be pulled back, my locks were plastered to my head.  Hot. 

Only once did someone actually enter the stairwell during my workout.  I'm sure it was the highlight of his day...at least he didn't slip on my sweat and tumble down the stairs.  His day probably would have been complete without hearing my  heavy breathing, but whatever.

I ended up doing 27 minutes - OUCH - and then stood in front of a fan for a good 5 minutes to cool down before core work.  I can't give you a full synopsis though, as my experiment won't be fully complete until tomorrow morning when my alarm goes off.  The real question is, will I be able to move tomorrow?  Time will tell.

Until then, consider taking the stairs and joining me for the Big Climbs for Cures on April 24.

*This plan developed after trying to convince my boss to run stairs with me.  Apparently, she had undertaken this idiotic idea with a previous coworker and had suffered from some major cramping in her right quad and left calf, not to mention dizziness.  They only did the one stairwell.

Traffic coming home was crap today.  I was even more annoyed when I arrived home to find a Prius blocking the driveway I park in.  I would have been less frustrated if there was ample street parking but alas there was not.

Sometimes I decide to be nice when a Starbucks-chugging-craphead decides his/her Non-fat Mocha Latte with Whip is so important he/she should block the driveway and I overlook the issue.  Sometimes I am mean and call the parking cops to ticket the vehicle and idiotic, unobservant driver.  More than once I have been evil and had the freaking vehicle towed - Happy Halloween MF'er.  I usually save those presents for when I'm actually parked in the driveway and they block my exit.

Today I chose to be Minnesota Mean, I left a note:

"Thank you for blocking my driveway. =(  Please be more considerate next time." 

Then because I'm a curious person - or nosey - I peered out the window occasionally while prepping dinner.  I just happened to see the driver return and reinforce the driver stereotype.  So to you, beret-wearing Yuppy with a Jesus bumpersticker, I say: Jesus must love you lots, make sure you thank him for your not getting a ticket.

I've set a goal for myself this month: to avoid restaurants and take-out food.  So far so good.  Day 8 and I have only been tempted once; my brother offered to buy me lunch on Saturday.  Yes, I'm even saying no to restaurant food others buy for me. 

My main expenses, other than rent and general bills, is food.  Friends and family gatherings often center around food, restaurants in particular.  I rarely say no and then wonder where all of my money goes each month.  I would rather spend my money on traveling and entertainement (outside of restaurants), so it's time I get the habbit under control.

My secondary goal this month is to try some new recipes.  I'm sick of eating/making the same food week after week.  Tonight I made Spinach and Tofu Lasagna.  It was pretty good if I do say so myself...and I do. 

My reaction: Say what?! 

Sport Med Doc's response: Sounds fancy, doesn't it? 

Me: Yep.

Her: I know, right? But it really just means you have pain in the metatarsal part of your foot.

I'm sure glad I have insurance!  I only had to pay $15 to find out I have a pain in my foot...oh wait, I already knew that.  Still, I consider it money well spent for a few reason - and being that I am a fan of lists I am going to create one for you.

Good use of insurance because:
1. I now know I don't have a stress fracture.  Whew.
2. It has been confirmed that my second toe is indeed longer than my big toe.  I did suspect this due to the large number of toenails I have lost on Toe #2.
3. TRIA is super cool and high tech.  My guess is it is also priced as much, thank you health insurance!
4. My left arch is less archy than my right arch...which I have been suspecting, as my left foot feels more at one with the Earth. 
5. I need arch support and insoles are covered by my flex spending.  BONUS!
6. My left foot needs a pad.  Seriously?  I just got rid of needing pads!  Grrrrrr.  But this is a fancy pad called a Metatarsal Pad, I have a feeling this is going to take some time to get used to.
7. Metatarsalgia sounds fancy!

Hmmmm, the crappy part of knowing what is wrong is as follows:

Not Knowing + Kimmi = Healing*

Knowing + Kimmi = No more excuses.**

*A.K.A. Being lazier, more likely to sleep in than workout, & training for less time cumulatively)

**LAME.

...which means that I am eating ice cream.  Seriously, what is it about this show that makes me want to sit down with a bowl, a pint or a quart of the good stuff and chow down?  Maybe it's the school bully side of my personality shinning through.  Insert a picture of me with Ben & Jerry's taunting the characters with a little "neener neener neener - look what I'm eating!  Suck it!" 

I watch this show maybe 2 or 3 times a season.  I'm trying to recall if I have watched it at all this season because some of these people look really familiar, but familiar from different seasons.  So either this is an 'alll-star' or 'second chance' season OR the show has taken the formulaic approach a little too seriously because the doppelgangers are uncanny!  The thing is I really don't care all that much, if I did I would actually look it up.  But I don't so I won't, and instead I will ramble on...ramble, ramble, ramble. 

Good news!  I trimmed the bowls today and it appears I haven't ruined them yet!  I came really, really close one the first one I trimmed.  In this instance "really, really" is defined as the bottom of the bowl sagging in when upside down and then sagging out when I flipped it over.  EEK!  Deep breath, remove tool, slowly back away from the bowl (I know, I giggled a little at that sentence too.) 

In other news, I actually got my lazy(ish) buttox out of bed this morning to attend spin class before work.  I definitely picked the wrong day; we did intervals.  I won't lie, it felt good at the end and for a few moments before that (yes, I'm a masochist), but it kicked my ass.  I didn't stop sweating (glistening?) until around 8:30 when I got to work.  Did I mention that class ended at 7 and my ab workout ended at 7:15?  I showered, got ready and drove a half hour to work and I was still sweating.  Yuckers. 

Tomorrow I have an appointment at TRIA to examine my foot.  I've been nursing a potential injury for quite awhile.  I've been self-diagnosing and mostly prescribing rest and tennis ball torture (i.e. rolling my foot over a tennis ball to loosen it up).  But it hasn't really improved all that much and I would really like to ramp up my workouts, so it's time to find out if something more serious is going on. It is really way past time to find out.  Eek.  Crossing my fingers.

Random recommendations (and one I don't recommend at all!):

Books:
The Guernsy Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - passed onto me by Rachel.  I really enjoyed it! 
Plum Spooky - I love the Stephanie Plum series.  Any book that fits in a character called "Elmer the Fire Farter" is a literary success.  Judge me as you will.

Movies:
She's The Man - Yes, it is a terrible movie by nearly all standards BUT it has two saving graces.  1. Chick flick that incorporates soccer.  2. Fine male bodies.  Yes, it's shallow but it's true.  Also, it has some funny lines.
Twilight - A terrible movie.  No saving graces.  This coming from someone who was so obsessed with the book that I actually called multiple friends and begged them to tell me what was going to happen.  Begged! 

Last thought...I'm considering heading back to the old blog on Blogger.  This site would be great for the more program savy person, but frankly I kind of miss the dumbed down version.  The move would make pictures easier for me and commenting easier for you peeps.  Plus this thing doesn't have spell check, and for some reason - I haven't even attempted to learn why - my Firefox browser doesn't underline my errors here.   My bro is likely rolling his eyes at my dumbness right now - Hi Chris! Thanks for reading! - but it isn't the first time and it definitely won't be the last.  And yes, dumbness is a word in my world.

Anecdote on my intelligence at times: I was watching the Olympics last weekend and couldn't figure out why the medic was cheering so hard for the skier.  The skier was Swiss.*

*Thanks are due to Becca for not peeing on my couch while laughing at me and to Kizzo for the history lesson and still being my friend.